My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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