my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Randomize
