Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
