If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I smell stomach acid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize