the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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