words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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