I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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