He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
