Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize