So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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