I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
