that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
