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Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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