I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Those nachos came to me in a dream