I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit