When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
