this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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