Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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