What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
