What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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