This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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