I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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