It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do vagina's smell?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
