God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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