he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
