i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
