Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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