this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
