Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
