we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
