Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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