My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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