matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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