i permit you to call me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
