I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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