dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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