I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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