YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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