So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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