I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
