just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
