We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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