feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
