At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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