look no pants
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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