hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
