So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this will be a night to untag.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize