i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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