last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
