If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
