He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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