I look better un-naked...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
