Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
