at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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