I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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