There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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