I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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