Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
