do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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