Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
