She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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