You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
