it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
