I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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